Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
oh god the rape fog is back!
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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