he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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