dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
