their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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