His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
NoShamevember. You game?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
