I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize