K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
