Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
