you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
