hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
