my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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