I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
There r osticjed everywhere
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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