My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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