she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
