the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
