Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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