I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
