I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
