Dual....:-)
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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