His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
