you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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