At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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