oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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