addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
