so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I love how my cats smell like pot.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
