so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he puts the penis in happiness.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
