I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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