why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
