I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
