She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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