"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
