this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he fucked my hip out of place.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
