He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
