I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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