i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
