Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
