Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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