I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
