Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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