It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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