I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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