we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
