we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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