once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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