Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
