There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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