she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
im holly from the hills drunk
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
