I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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