I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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