We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You're a waste of cheezeits
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
