Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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