the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize