Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
did i just pee glitter
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
