The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
